Reflections

As the year end approaches, I am feeling particularly reflective. This year has been intense in so many

ways. There has been so much personal growth that it’s overwhelming to think about all that has

happened. The biggest thing for me this year was struggling to let go of my need to control everything

that happens. It’s given me so much peace to realize that the only thing I can control is what I do and

how I feel. I spent a lot of time thinking that I could change certain outcomes and felt personally

responsible for any kind of “failure.”

I’ve always prided myself on the thought that I march to the beat of my own drum and try not to give in to societal pressures to live a certain way or do things in a certain order. But I must admit that one thing that’s really freaking me out about being in South Korea is watching loved one’s lives carry on as usual and milestones come and go and I am not there to witness them. I sometimes have to remind myself that everything and everyone will still be there waiting for me when I get back. It’s just scary to think about how fast time is going and how things are changing. But the worst thing to feel is fear. I don’t want to be fearful of what is to come, I just know that things are unfolding as they should. I’ve never felt so loved and supported as I have this past year. It helps to know that I have a strong safety net and I feel incredibly blessed to have people in my life who care so much.

If we open our minds and our hearts, we realize that we encounter people and situations all the time that can teach us more about ourselves and about life. I have three particular people in mind that really shaped experiences this year and changed my worldview. If they are reading this they will know exactly who they are. The first individual, I had the privilege to meet last December. This person was unlike anyone I’d met before and probably will ever meet. I feel lucky to know someone who I connected with on a different level. It’s very rare to meet someone who understands the very core of your being and can introduce you to parts of yourself that you never knew were there.

The second is someone that I have known for a while that resurfaced this year. This person also knows me quite well and knows that occasionally I need a little push to leap at the opportunities that present themselves. We have the utmost respect for each other, and I probably owe my undergrad degree to this individual. We had many conversations leading up to my departure that gave me the extra bit of courage to pursue this opportunity. Saying goodbye was bittersweet because it felt like closing the door to the past.

The third person was someone that has known me since I was a baby and is very close to my family. We had one of those epic, life changing talks in a pub in Toronto on a rainy day a few months before I left. Essentially, this individual gave me permission to start living my own life and to take chances. I will forever be grateful for that conversation. Sometimes you can hear the same words many times but when it comes from the right person, something finally clicks.

I look forward to starting 2014 and hope that it is full of happiness, love, and growth. Thank you all for being part of my journey. Your e-mails and skype calls have meant the world. What has your year been like? 

xoxoxo