Friday, March 7, 2014

Giggle Syndrome and the Blame Game

I know this has been touched on in other blogs but I just wanted to share some of my own experiences about the Korean way of dealing with uncomfortable situations, mistakes or confrontation.

In general, Koreans are not comfortable with confrontation as a way to resolve conflict or miscommunication. Back home, when there is an issue at work or you’re not clear on something, you go directly to the source and ask questions. Problem solved. Miscommunication cleared. For whatever reason, my guess is insecurity; my experience has been that my Korean coworkers feel extremely uncomfortable talking about certain issues particularly if it involves the possibility that they made a mistake somewhere along the line or could somehow be blamed for something.

It’s very interesting to me to see such a dichotomy in this society where, they have become extremely efficient in some ways (technology, construction), but cannot grasp basic problem solving techniques. It is frustrating to say the least. I know that “saving face” happens everywhere and in every country, but in Korea it happens to the extent that not looking bad in someone’s eyes takes priority over just admitting that you made a mistake and then looking for a way to fix it.

The biggest example I can give of this phenomenon is a schedule change or a special event that is suddenly added and they forget to inform the foreign teachers. This is common. It happens at least once a week and it is beyond frustrating. There have been so many changes to our classes and schedules lately due to a bunch of staff quitting and being replaced. Yesterday I went in and prepared for my classes as normal. In the afternoon I went to one of my classrooms, lesson in hand, only to run into my Korean co-teacher for that class who informed me that she would be teaching them for that period. Nobody had told me about this schedule change, and I now had no idea where I was supposed to be and was unprepared to teach a different class.

I wouldn’t have minded so much if this hadn’t been maybe the third time that this happened this week. Generally when a problem occurs more than once, a light bulb would go on and someone would say “hmm…how can we deal more efficiently with this problem that keeps coming up?” I feel sad to say that my terrible working environment has left me feeling more and more bitter and jaded about my experience here. I probably would have felt entirely different had I been placed in a public school, which has a government funded English program and is therefore regulated.

Anyways, when I approached the woman who is in charge of making the schedules, the one who keeps failing to inform me of these changes, she kind of just giggled and didn’t even apologize. The giggle is one way that they deal with an uncomfortable situation. The other is to turn around and point the finger at someone else.

Unfortunately, foreigners often serve as the scapegoat here. Whenever something goes wrong at my school it must be the foreigners fault. Oh we’re losing a lot of kindergarteners? It must be that the foreign teachers don’t play enough and laugh enough with the children. They must just be sitting there with the kids working on the pile of books and worksheets that we told them to do. It couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that since I’ve arrived here in July, the entire Korean staff has quit and been replaced because they can’t deal with the tyrant of a director.

The other really disturbing instance in which I’ve noticed the giggle syndrome and the blame game coming into play is whenever I try to talk to my co-teachers about a child who I’ve noticed is really struggling and who may possibly have a learning disability. Learning disabilities and special needs are often not recognized here. I am not sure if it is denial on the part of the parents’, who again, want to save face and don’t want their child to be treated any differently, but they are really doing a disservice to their child and it deeply saddens me. I have one student who very clearly needs to be seen by a doctor. Obviously I cannot diagnose what the issue is but I strongly suspect he has ADD. The first time I pulled my co-teacher into the hallway to suggest that I noticed this student was struggling and that she should speak to his mother about this, she started laughing uncontrollably.

When I spoke to her about it a couple of weeks later, she again giggled (giggle syndrome) and said that she had spoken to his mother about it and the mother became very angry and suggested that his teachers just weren’t helping him enough (blame game) and weren’t paying enough attention to him. I pray for his future.
Unfortunately, there is no solution to this. It is deeply ingrained in their culture, this notion of not accepting responsibility and saving face. Does anyone else have insight or experiences to share? Please share them in the comments.

#rantover

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Lunar New Year in JAPAN

So I went to Japan in January. Yep. The Lunar New Year happened to coincide with my birthday this year. The stars ALIGNED so that I could have a long weekend and do something epic. I am not really big into birthdays and the holidays hit hard this year, being so far from home. SO I wanted to distract from the fact that I am thousands of miles from my loved ones and do something special. Plus, Japan was always high on my list of places I had to visit. There are a bunch of tour groups that do organized trips and I am a terrible deal finder/planner. I figured that the cheaper and easier option would be to go with a group. Plus, we would be taking the ferry instead of flying and since airports tend to stress me out, this seemed like a safe bet.

So I had to get down to Busan to catch the ferry, and the fastest way to do that is to take the KTX bullet train. I had not been on one yet, so that was exciting. If you take the normal train, it’s a little over 4 hours to get from my city to Busan in the south. On the bullet train, it’s a 2 hour trip. I got to Busan pretty early and had the whole day to explore there. It was kind of exciting because I haven’t been there yet. It’s a popular place to go in the summer because it has a nice beach. I will definitely go back when it gets a bit warmer.

The boat ride over to Fukuoka was interesting. We had to board the ship at 7:30pm but it didn’t actually leave the port until 10:30pm. I have no idea why. We were divided into 5 person rooms that were equipped with floor mats and pillows for sleeping. The boat docked in Fukuoka the next morning at 6am, I went to the bathroom to shower before we got off the boat. The showers were in a jimjilbang-type setting. Basically it was a communal bathing experience-obviously gender segregated (which I am quite accustomed to now). I just wandered in without putting on my glasses or contacts so I have no idea if people were staring at the blond foreigner. I just got ready quickly and went back to my room to grab my bag.  Stepping off the boat in Fukuoka, I couldn’t believe how warm it was compared to Korea. I felt silly wearing my heavy winter jacket when all of the locals were in sweaters.

Ironically our first stop after getting off the boat and boarding our coach bus was Mcdonalds for breakfast. It’s the same in every country, yes. It was on the way to the castle that we were going to visit. Kumamoto Castle, upon pulling up was beautiful. One thing that I have noticed about Korea is that when I go to historic sites, everything has been restored so much to the point that it doesn’t feel like an authentic experience. Obviously a big reason for this was that the war destroyed so much. There was a lot that had to be rebuilt quickly after. But even when there is some semblance of genuine history, it somehow always feels out of reach. This was how Kumamoto Castle felt to me. I was expecting to walk in and feel like I could get a sense of the lives spent there. I wanted to see the living quarters and be able to differentiate the rooms. But walking in, there were only artifacts in glass cases, and pictures. It was a tad disappointing.

After that, we had lunch and then headed for Aso Volcano. We drove for what felt like forever through the mountains, and I had a nap because I was exhausted from the tumultuous boat ride the night before.  We were supposed to take a gondola ride up the mountain to the volcano and be able to walk around the rim. However, the volcano was extremely smoky that day and the gondola was shut down. So we got as close as we could and took some pictures from afar and bought some postcards before piling back on the bus. On the way to the hostel, the sun was going down in the mountains and the view was breathtaking. I couldn’t believe that I was in Japan riding through the mountains as the sun went down, it felt surreal. We finally arrived at our hostel in middleofnowhere, mountains, Japan. It was SO quaint and perfect. I had never stayed in a hostel prior to this trip and this was a great first experience. As we pulled up and brought our stuff in, dinner was already artfully arranged on the table waiting for us.

That night I had a less than adequate sleep because there was a man sleeping in the bunk beside mine who snored for most of the night and the only way that I can describe it is like the sound that a horse makes when it exhales through its mouth.

The next morning we woke up at 7am and had time to shower (another communal shower) and had breakfast before leaving the hostel and heading for the hot springs. This was the part of the trip that I was most looking forward to and it surpassed my expectations. It was so serene and idyllic. I didn’t even mind that I once again, had to disrobe in the presence of relative strangers. The hot springs were in this little village type setting with tiny shops and bakeries. You could pay to get a pass for 3 different hot springs and then choose which ones you wanted to try.

After the hot springs, we loaded back onto our bus and headed for a shrine in Fukuoka. This is a beautiful time to visit temples and shrines because during the Lunar New Year, there is a lot happening. It was so nice to wander around the shops and see the gardens. People were lined up for miles, waiting their turn to make their wishes and prayers for the new year.

The final stop was a ryokan- a traditional Japanese guesthouse- where we would be spending the night. This was by far the coolest place I’ve ever stayed. It was so beautiful inside and had really gorgeous zen gardens all around it. It was pouring rain that night but I borrowed an umbrella and set out in search of sushi, which took a little longer to find than I expected but was totally worth the trek.
Japan is absolutely beautiful and I only wish I could have stayed there longer. I can’t even put into words how I felt. People are so polite and welcoming, the streets are very clean, there is more vegetation and pretty gardens, there were minimal neon signs, the air smells cleaner and most importantly, the food is so delicious. I could go on and on…

I am happy that I chose to do a more rural trip first. I would still like to see Tokyo and some of the bigger cities, but this was the experience that I was looking for this time around and it was great. The only bad thing I can say about this trip was that it was way too short. Suddenly it was Sunday and we were heading back to the ferry port. But first, I pretty much bought the whole supply of traditional guest robes (called yukata) from the ryokan to send home as souvenirs. I am pretty sure the woman at the desk thought I had a screw loose but they made for really cool gifts. Wherever you are in the world, Japan is worth the trek. Do it.
                                 





Saturday, March 1, 2014

Korean Style :)


So I know this is something I’ve touched on briefly in another post about why Korea reminds me of the 90’s. But I don’t think I really did justice to the style that Korea has. People really put effort into their appearance here. Not just the girls but also the men. The only thing that I will say is that the style is pretty homogenous here, particularly men’s style. It is pretty much what is known as “hipster”. And girls’ style ranges from super girly- frills, bows and polka dots- to hipster. 

In some ways a lot of things I see are outdated. Not in a cool throwback/ironic kind of way but in a “we never moved on from that decade” sense. For example, I see a lot of young women wearing fitted high waisted pencil skirts and/or dresses with puffy shoulders. They just scream 80’s in all the wrong ways. Since I have the clothes taste of an 8 year old, I think that I fit in perfectly here. I will never outgrow bows and polka dots. With that said, here are some of my favorite trends here:


GIRLS

Short, Puffy Skirts

Mixing girly dresses with chunky sweaters

Oversize Cable Knit Sweater



Prairie inspired tent dresses

GUYS


HUGE Scarves a la Lenny Kravitz




Fitted Blazers




Obnoxiously Big Glasses


Funky Patterned Shirts